Is it my fault that I am wired differently?

Everybody thinks that I have lost a screw, an important one at that;
A screw that has made me lose my balance;
Probably a matter of laughs for many,
and often I have mocked myself too

But when I pause, look back and re-think,
I indeed lost a part of me,
each time, I was told I couldn't achieve anything;
A constant reminder that told me I was a born loser;

Even my cries, wails and sobs had no ears,
I wanted someone to hear them, was definitely my mistake,
yet, overtime, I thought it is all changed,
It is finally over!

Well...until now when I come to know what it means,
I was and will always be a loser,
Though most people I know tell me,
I am sweet, blessed and wonderful
It hurts real hard when your parents make you feel a petty loser!

Who is this ideal daughter?
I always wanted to make them happy and of course, a little proud,
Just a while back, I am told I am not even worth being called one,
Tomorrow, they might laugh it off as a small joke,
For me, it is today that my world came crashing!

Who is this ideal daughter?
Why am I compared to her? An unknown face suddenly matters more?
I am wired differently!
If I laugh on myself doesn't mean, it doesn't hurt!
Is there no one who can understand my wiring system?

Yeah, I am an emotional fool;
A soul that has been trying to inch towards satisfaction,
and it was just taken away
Why? Only because I am told I am no ideal daughter!

Who is this ideal daughter?
Who knows how to keep everyone happy? Do all work? Manage home and work simultaneously?
Who listens to her parents even if she is not happy?
Well, then, I am no ideal daughter!
I am wired way too differently!

Arranged 25 years ago- A wedding!

There are many people in life who matter a lot but there are very few who matter the most and AMMA and APPA make it to the top of the list, just by being there always, caring, worrying and loving me in their own ways!

On the eve of 25 years of their married life, i feel a bit of amazement, wonder, and happiness and even a sense of bewilderment, considering they managed to keep the wheels of the cart of an arranged marriage going despite their constant fights, over expectations of each other and disappointments, their opposite natures and a 'superfluous happily married life' that has had more share of low patches than happy moments. A marriage that seems to survive now because of a duty towards a daughter, born after lot of prayers and hymns to all dieties across temples as surprising as it seems, is a reality they deal with and in that reality, they constantly try to keep going with a lot of speed breakers that no longer make any difference simply because, another four letter word has seemed to replace a much significant word.

www.google.com

DUTY has replaced LOVE. Or did ever love happen at the first place? Am i hallucinating too much or simply taking them for granted? These and many such questions have plagued me for a long time now, growing up has been tough but still, they have been wonderful parents, no matter what! THANKYOU does not make sense, as Amma says even now, '' why are you thanking me? There is no thankyou between a mother and her daughter'' yet, i feel obliged that inspite of a so-called 'marital discord', you both have been there!

On the morning of 21st August 1987, two people got married with a lot of dreams and expectations of each other. Those times have changed such that those dreams and expectations hold no meaning anymore. There is no love lost between them. However, they have managed to find me....only if they could have truly found each other, i could have surely seconded 'matches are made in heaven'.

A WRITING ON THE WALL?

Life gives you everything but not what you need the most. "HAPPY SILVER JUBILEE? " Period.