Santa comes calling much before Christmas!

Its difficult to justify thoughts. It is difficult to understand certain things and why they happen? It is difficult to be patient for a long period of time and then realise that the patience is still there but the terms have changed. It is difficult to make peace with the feeling that it is alright to be honest and genuine all the way. It is difficult to keep on wondering about fateful incidents and why they prick so much. It is difficult to contemplate why certain people 'just give you ideas' like none before and then laugh all the way. 

Photo: Jayashree

It is difficult to accept change and certainly when it comes calling in an unexpected way. I never thought an evening could really make me think differently than the way I have thought for the last few years. Laughter is a gift and a good company certainly provides it in abundance. It does not mean, my wait has ended, it means that I know a person who can tell me what to think and why to think in a certain way and let me stay, like me.

It is difficult to have people who read your mind everytime and I am thankful to have some around me these days. It just tells you how much you have held back from the fear of non-acceptance, non-acknowledgement and what not. It is difficult to find people who match your so-called wavelength and your way of thinking, or atleast seem to try and understand. Yes, weird ideas do not easily find acceptance but then I have always loved fairytales not for the fact that they were simply beautiful romantics but for the way of imagination and narration. 

Photo: Jayashree, Chandigarh, December, 2011

There are so many things that we find in common over a long period of time but there are these unbeatable equations that just happen. There is nothing to hide about it, but it still is a treasure to have. 

Photo: Jayashree, Chandigarh, December, 2011

To this Christmas, I wish to declare that I found myself a Santa. Infact, we found each other. A Santa who is there to spread happiness. A Santa who is there to tell you how to move on in life. A Santa who is a simple person at heart. A Santa who knocked on my door much before Christmas and has given me reasons to cheer for the times to come. 

A Santa who talks less and in monosyllables and so is an 'intellectual'. 

A Santa who has always been a fighter and so remains the 'hero'. 

A Santa who loves to vanish like Mr. India (Anil Kapoor starrer 1987 Bollywood movie). A Santa who is so down to earth in the times that are hard. A Santa who shall and will remain close to heart, even if the Santa moves to a new home, new town and a new land. 

Merry Christmas! Let all of you get such crazy, fun, likeable and wonderful Santas. 

P.S: My Santa has been working so hard that he forgot to eat and now has reduced so much! 

So, starting this Christmas, Santa, you need to have cheese and stuffed sandwiches and tea.

December saga: In between 'Coffee and contemplation'

While waiting for a cup of coffee in a quiet corner of a cafe on a very close friend's birthday party, you come to realize how funnily and quickly time flies away. Decembers always give you a sense of closure to what the year has given as well as taken from you. 

There are no enough answers for both and that is where the charm of time lies. A year before, I was waiting for my graduation hat and looking forward to welcoming 2013 on a note of achieving greater heights, not just professionally but personally as well. While, the fact of having graduated was yet to sink in, time had already come to fill in application forms for higher studies. Six months into 2013, I was cribbing about how I should not have opted for further studies, and contemplating on how I could have consequently saved myself from a lot of unwanted stress. 

Photo: Priya Baid

2013 became a year synonymous with meeting different kinds of people, making new friends and losing touch with many others and yet it gave a lot more than it took away. Indeed, it was upsetting to not have some people around or to see good friends going away from each other but it was equally enriching to learn the circumstances that made these difficult decisions, a part of the learning process.

If the year was harsh in its treatment in some ways, it was kind in many others. If the year was full of troubles, it was full of fun moments and moments of togetherness with loved ones. If the year was a mirror of understanding patience, it was also reflective of how that same patience has limits. If the year was a testimony to pushing oneself beyond capabilities, it was also a reminder of how fate plays a tremendous role. If the year was a roller-coaster ride, it was a ride worth remembering. If the year was full of expectations, it gave the courage to live with disappointments. If the year was full of useless banter, it gave a lesson on how to deal with one's inner thoughts and emotions. If the year was full of mind boggling activities, it gave some tears and moments for silent contemplation. This, being one of them. 

Photo: www.google.com

Meanwhile, my friends tease me on the silence that envelops 'in between'. This, 'in between' moment just adds on to the numerous others that have come, stayed and left me with several invaluable realizations. Among these realizations, I realize the air envelops in the smell of my cold coffee. I get back to my friends and the coffee, in the hope that these reflective 'in betweens' remain, December or no December!

Bindi binded; family bonded!

Finally! Sitting down to write. Writing, something for my self and not for completing numerous assignments!

Well, Facebook provokes thoughts and here, I am with one of them. I read a comment saying that how putting 'bindi', the traditional Hindu way of not keeping the forehead empty is actually a matter of debate between the younger and older generations.

The older people want their daughters and girls in their homes to wear a bindi whereas the girls/women do not prefer to wear them especially with jeans or western wear. Where do I fit in this? 

Well, belonging to a TamBrahm (Tamil Brahmin) community, my parents and other relatives have always scolded me for not putting a bindi. I never used to listen. Until, I found out that what I put on my mother's insistence, actually has turned out to be a distinguishing characteristic of my personality.Using a sharpened end of a 'kajal' pencil, putting the 'ornamental dot' in the centre of the two eyebrows, has now actually become a style statement, a part of my identity and ofcourse, brings happiness to my parents' faces. 

Traditionally, considered to aggravate a major nerve point in the body responsible for 'concealed wisdom' and contain all experience in totality, this part of the human body has a special bond, either with understanding the essence of some cultures or fashioning a new style.

'I tell you, these kids!'

Come home kids! Taken: Jazzy J, Deepavali, 2012

They don't talk if they are angry with each other. They fight over TV shows. They sulk over the smallest of issues and gossip over the big. They start with their daily rant in the early mornings and continue them till night. They love to pull each others' leg and wait expectantly for my reaction. Each of them wants me to be on their side. This tug of war continues each day and every minute. 'I tell you, these kids at home'. 

Growing up! Taken: Jazzy J, July 2013

They love to make me do things. They talk to me about maturity and show nothing of the same when necessary. These kids at home blow up issues and see everything from one perspective; which is their way of seeing. They give me scores of reasons to shout and then complain how I have changed over time. They want to know everything and when I start telling them everything, they drift away to other "important" stuff. 'I tell you, these kids'.

Sometime dark, sometimes light! Taken: Jazzy J, July 2013

They make me feel wanted one moment and act as strangers the very next. They think of me as a grown up  when they want to and then make a mockery out of my grown up life. These kids simply put the words in my mouth and then enjoy rolling the strings. They seem to love waking me up in the middle of a nap to ask for a random number. They are head over heels in love with the flocking guests but don't like their everyday neighbors. They give me some reasons to smile and plenty of reasons to imagine Hitler personified. 'I tell you, these kids'.

And before, I know or can say anything, time passes away and they grow up in front of me. I can only cherish those memories and they see shades of themselves in me. 26 years of togetherness is a wonder and the yield is me. 

Meet the kids! :) Taken: Jazzy J, July 201

 'I tell you, these kids', are my Amma and Appa (Mom and Dad) who happen to see me grow up each day while, I happen to see them grow the other way. 

And there comes Nature!

Nature allows you to see

What is not visible,

It allows you to feel,

What lies in its depths,

Whether mud, silt or the mighty picturesque clouds.

Nature allows you to walk

And follow your own footsteps,

It allows you to experience

Your life in your own way,

Where your dreams, your passion, your wishes,

Your hopes and your longingness

Find resonance and peace

Peace that’s long overdue!

With the nature too awaiting completeness

Like you and me

Comes the roaring thought of happiness in being incomplete,

Just like the waters of the sea,

And then comes a sort of peace

That’s indeed long overdue!

 

Of so-called mediocre milestones and special feelings!

Every relationship has its share of ups and downs and in fact the relationship in itself could mean nothing important to the people/person concerned but during its journey, they reach some milestones, important or mindless is for them to make sense of. 

One such is a milestone of time spent knowing or trying to know a complete stranger who makes you feel weak in the knees and yet you feel all the more special. 

The moments- good or otherwise become a thread to mediocre milestones of dates. Mediocre, is the word when the special feelings only end up becoming just another thing for the people concerned. What are those milestones worth, when they just become another day, another number?

Yet, those very milestones mark a beginning that means the world with hopes of a future without endings. So, treasuring those moments, the entire journey, the so-called mediocre milestones, become imminent to the story of You and Me!

"Yeh shaam jab bhi aayegi,

  Tum humko yaad aaoge!

  

   Ajeeb dastaan hain yeh

   kahan shuru kahan khatam

   yeh manzile hain kaunsi

   na woh samajh sakey na hum!"

UNDER THE SKY!

IF ONLY, DREAMS WERE TRUE,

IF ONLY, STARS FELL ON EARTH,

IF ONLY, THE EVENING BREEZE MEANT YOUR COMING,

IF ONLY, PLACES MEANT LIVING,

HOW BEAUTIFUL, LIFE WOULD BE UNDER THE SKY!

IF ONLY, YOU LOVED ME,

IF ONLY, RAIN MEANT YOUR TOUCH,

IF ONLY, YOUR DIMPLED SMILES WERE FOR ME,

IF ONLY, WE WERE NOT APART LIKE THE SUN AND THE MOON,

HOW LOVELY, LIFE WOULD BE UNDER THE SKY!

 

EVEN IF HAD DISAGREEMENTS,

IF ONLY, YOU TRIED CROONING ME WITH YOUR AFFECTIONATE EYES,

IF ONLY, YOU EXPRESSED THROUGH HUGS AND KISSES,

A WORLD AWAY FORM ‘SORRYs, THANKYOUs AND PLEASE’ COULD BE LIVED FOREVER,

IF ONLY, DISTANCES DID NOT MATTER…

HOW WONDERFUL, LIFE WOULD BE UNDER THE SKY!

IF ONLY, WE COULD BOTH UNDERSTAND

EACH OTHER’S HEART AND THEIR RHYTHMS

IF ONLY, WE COULD STAND BY EACH OTHER

IN HAPPINESS AND IN PAIN, IN STRUGGLES AND SUCCESSES

HOW DRAMATIC YET ‘FULL OF US’, LIFE WOULD BE UNDER THE SKY! :) :)

OFF HEARTBREAKS AND HARDSHIPS!

OH YES! The month of May is here and with it the lingering question of "may or may not be"! 

This particular confusion lane starts with a broken heart and the hardest of the hard struggles that it ensues. Ofcourse, no way, we can belittle the pain and the trauma of losing a beloved or/and losing out on love, but it is important in a situation where emotions run wild and reason seems to betray trust and faithfulness, one should not altogether go with guns blazing on the poor love!

 

Imagine, only a few days back, you only called love, the most amazing and the most awesome feeling in the world, and now, just because, the loved person went on ahead with life, you blame the feeling of love for it? Love felt so good when you awarded it with beautiful words and phrases, and now, suddenly, a turnaround which compels it to ask "Why this Kolaveri?"

Its hard to contemplate at the beginning but the fact remains that you learn from your mistakes and they are like your shadows that do not leave you unless you move over them!

Agreed, that your lover did not turn out to be the perfect one, but that does not give a right to blame love for it, afterall, you only wanted to fall in love and in love with the idea of love. You only built your expectations too early and too fast without realising what it could mean for the future! 

All this might seem a bit harsh, but its time, we realize that blaming others, whether people or feelings can never work and repenting after problems have occurred does only lead to another struggle. I might be no one to comment on others life, but seeing this all around me, just leaves me aghast!

तो पागल हैं हम सब- ALL BECAUSE OF YOU MY 'sometimes' DEAR LOVE and 'often' NOT-SO-DEAR LOVE!!